AIDS has kinda faded from public consciousness in recent years. There are medicines to treat it and many live for decades after contracting HIV. There haven’t been any publicized outbreaks in a long time, that I can remember. Most people having casual sex don’t even think of it. But it is still around. I’ve known 3 people with AIDS, one up close and personal and the other two only casually.
‘Cleo’ was in one of my online social groups and we sometimes talked. He was a tall, thin black guy who was semi-retired and fairly well off. He seemed to be a fairly nice man, but he had one failing. Prostitutes were his weakness and he liked to see how far they would go for money. He would seek out the most desperate ones, no matter how ugly they were, and get them to do sex any way that he wanted. And he was quite creative. Most people don’t talk about stuff like that, but Cleo didn’t care what others thought and shared freely. His playground was primarily in Tijuana and he tended to look for hookers that were drug addicts, since they were the most likely to go along with whatever he wanted. He wasn’t picky about looks, size, age, nationality, etc. His only two requirements were that the price had to be low and that he wasn’t obligated to wear a condom. He got turned down a lot, but found a surprising number of women who agreed to his terms. He got a kick out of living on the edge like that.
A couple years ago, he started having health issues and went to his doctor. The doctor ran a few tests, including for HIV. It turned out that Cleo had full blown AIDS. The doctor ran through the options and Cleo said he would think them over. That weekend, he decided life wasn’t worth living with that disease and blew his brains out.
Dwight was a schoolmate of mine. His dad was the science teacher and his sister was in my grade. He was a grade behind me but we had many classes together. Most people in school considered him a bit of a weirdo. He was strong but acted rather effeminate. Him and his sister did dance performances together, which also seemed odd. His family was Mormon and that was another strike against him in many classmates’ eyes. After graduation, he came out as being gay. He became quite sexually active and it wasn’t too long before he was diagnosed with HIV. This was in the eighties, when that was basically a death sentence. His sickness progressed into AIDS, and he became thin and frail. Somehow he hung around long enough for new drugs to be approved and then he improved. He is still alive today, well over 30 years later. But he’s no longer a Mormon.
The last one was Ruby. I’m going to reveal more than I’ve ever shared on this blog before. Hope I don’t regret it! This is rather embarrassing to admit, but I met her over ten years ago at a strip club. She was a dancer who was known for usually wearing a fedora on stage. I wasn’t that impressed with her at first impression. She was slender and athletic. But she wore too much makeup and had almost nothing for breasts. She liked to wink a lot at guys, but her stage presence was lacking and her lapdances were rather lame. So she didn’t make much money at the club.
I had little to do with her at first, since I was dating a couple other dancers and that kept me busy enough. But one dumped me and the other moved away. Ruby saw her chance and moved in on me. She was persistent and got me to see her outside the club. Almost right away, we became sexual and she never wanted me to wear a condom. She was only the second woman in my life that I had not worn protection with and it became rather addicting to be free like that. Dancers tend to be all about the money and she was no different. She started hitting me up for loans, claiming to have various debts. This was during the time that I was taking Prozac and other drugs for depression and sleeplessness. I made tons of bad decisions during those years, and she was one of them.
Ruby was a heavy smoker and pretty much lived off of cigarettes and pop. She was still in her twenties and could get away with that. She loved horror movies and usually had one playing when I visited her house. I always insisted they be turned off during sex and sleep time. She didn’t like that much but agreed. I was pretty sure that she did drugs but she always denied it. Sometimes our times together would be quite romantic and other times, more physical. I never seriously considered living with her or going steady. I still wasn’t that attracted to her face or personality. I just loved the sex, though I did always try to treat her well the rest of the time, too. She often had medical problems and needed me to drive her to the ER. Most of these problems were her left arm popping out of it’s socket or skin infections, usually on her calves and ankles but once on her face and scalp. She didn’t drive, so I gave her many rides to work, the grocery store, to friends’ places, and the hospital. I was sometimes embarrassed to be with her, because she had outlandish taste on her makeup, especially her eyebrows. She could also be quite rude at the hospital, which I partially excused as being because of the pain she was in.
I helped her out some, financially, partially out of pity because I could see that she was earning little money at the club and partly from obligation because of all the sex I was getting from her. But I wasn’t making much money either and eventually I asked her to repay some. She screwed me over with a couple bounced checks and I said enough, goodbye. But she kept trying to entice me back.
One day, I was at the Capital watching some demonstration and started talking with a policeman who was monitoring the protestors. For some reason, I shared my problem with him and he asked what Ruby’s full name was. After I told him, he was silent for awhile. Then he told me that he knew her well and I would be wise to avoid her. He said that she had a criminal record for financial fraud and possession of heroin. He also informed me that she had full blown AIDS and I should get myself checked out. Lastly, he advised me to get myself to church and straighten myself out.
I confronted Ruby the next time I saw her. She never admitted anything but didn’t deny anything, either. She sheepishly asked if I wanted to use condoms if we ever made love again. At that time; I was suffering depression, was taking those prescribed drugs, and living in a homeless shelter after losing my house and business. I honestly didn’t think that I had long to live. I still had some money from the sale of my home, but halfway planned to commit suicide when that ran out. So, like a fool, I kept seeing her and having unprotected sex. The romance was gone, but I was addicted to her body. To this day, I’ve never had more relations with anyone than her. Her body felt like it was made just for me. I have no idea how I avoided catching her disease with all the time we were intimate!
I ended up moving into my van and began traveling some. Ruby didn’t like that I was not around to give her rides or to mooch money off of, but she probably found others to help her out. She had been married and had two kids, but lost her marriage and children due to her drug use. I heard that she had a sometime boyfriend, a biker, but I don’t know how serious it was. He was a drug dealer and she may have been with him at times, to get better deals on heroin. I do think she liked my company and felt safe with me. I still saw her when I was back in town, but didn’t have much money. I often spent nights with her and sometimes we were together in the van. One time, the weather was freezing and I got sick. She didn’t want me at her place because I might make her ill. I messaged her that I felt that was rather rotten of her, after all I had helped her with, but she didn’t answer back. I recovered after a few days, but decided to head south to California to escape the cold. I had reached Coos Bay when I got a text from her. She was feeling guilty for treating me that way and wanted me to spend a few nights with her. She promised no asking for any money and wanted to spoil me for awhile. Lots of kissing and sex, and she would buy the meals. I was highly tempted to return. But my budget was tight and I remembered how often she had jerked me around and reneged on promises. So I told her that I was going to be gone to California for awhile and would see her when I returned.
I came back to the Salem area a couple months later, but only for a brief visit before taking off again. So I didn’t see her at the time. She texted me 3 weeks later, when I was in the ER in San Diego for a head injury and concussion. I told her my situation and her texts were the nicest ones that I had ever received from her, full of concern for me. Made me think that perhaps she was a decent person after all. But soon afterwards, I got a call from a mutual friend, telling me that Ruby had died from a heroin overdose and it was suspected that it was intentional. Her AIDS had progressed and she probably didn’t want to go through that anymore.
I look back and wonder at myself, why I wasn’t more concerned about contracting HIV and AIDS. My depression, prescription drugs, and craving for her body all played a part. I did get tested several times since then and the tests came back clean. So I got lucky. I was an idiot to ever get involved with her, but we did have some good times. I think she enjoyed seeing how much I loved being with her.
Those are my experiences with people who had AIDS. It’s only pure luck that I didn’t become one of them. I’m probably over-sharing, but at my age, what does it really matter!? I’m no longer worried about impressing anyone. If anyone read this, they will only be impressed by my stupidity. But it happened and I can’t undo it. Who knows, maybe I made Ruby’s last couple years better by my presence and giving nature. I hope so.
iggyvandweller 