Joe was one of my first friends on Facebook. He messaged me and asked if I was Ross’ brother. I vaguely remembered him from school days in Woodburn. I told him that I was estranged from Ross and explained why. He said he could totally understand and I accepted his friend request. We messaged each other infrequently, but mostly interacted on Facebook. He had a great sense of humor, even though he often got a bit too crude.
At that time, he was still doing meth, but soon tried to break the addiction. It sounded like he had been an addict his whole adult life, and had been in and out of prison because of crimes related to his drug use. He mentioned a couple times that he’d like to meet up with me, but I didn’t really respond to that. I was going through some major woman, financial, and depression issues at the time; and I had no interest in being around another drug addict friend. I already had too many friends (mostly ones that I dated) that struggled with drug use and didn’t need more of them. So, being just Facebook friends was fine with me.
Joe went to rehab several times in the last ten years. He would come out saying that he had changed and was now religious. He would get a job, housing, and a new girlfriend. The jobs included selling cars, selling oil products, managing self-storage units, selling heavy equipment, selling women beauty products, etc. I think that he met most of his girlfriends at the narcotic recovery meetings. He could be quite the charmer and wasn’t bad looking for his age, despite a receding hairline. He would profess his love for these women on Facebook, detailing much of their lives together. But just as soon as things sounded like they were going good, he would start using drugs again. Then everything would come crashing down. He would lose his job, his housing, the girlfriend, his vehicle, and possessions. Sometimes he would wind up in jail, but usually he would be put back into a rehab program. Oxford House would take him in. So he would have food, shelter, drug counseling; everything provided for free. And the cycle would start again. I think he went over a year without drugs, a couple times.
He was rather vain and posted many pictures of himself, sometimes several per week. On most Fridays, he would post a picture of him displaying his middle finger and would name a Facebook friend, saying Happy Finger Friday to Bob File or Jillian Snapplefuss, etc. But then he would post about how he wanted to be a better man and closer to God. He was quite outgoing, and always naming people and showing pictures of who that he had just went golfing with, or swimming, or went to dinner together. Physically he reminded me a lot of a friend named Don. Strong coarse features, big blue eyes, built muscular.
If it wasn’t for his funny jokes and interesting trainwreck of a life, I probably would’ve dropped him as a friend years ago. We really had little in common. But he kept me entertained. He was also a strong conservative and antagonized some with his support of Trump. Personally, I’m more of a libertarian and dislike Trump intensely as a person. But I am a supporter of many of his actions and am grateful that Trump became President instead of Hillary. So I could tolerate Joe’s over-the-top support of Trump. I think some of his posts were just trying to get a reaction from more liberal Facebook friends.
Joe’s last job was delivering appliances to homes. He shouldn’t have been doing that at the age of 55. His knee had been replaced a couple years back, he was a heavy smoker, and was carrying a few more pounds at the waist than he should have. His back went out from lifting one of the appliances two months ago and he barely got out of bed ever since. Most of his last posts were about his pain. Because of his past drug abuse, the doctor wouldn’t give him pain meds, telling him to use otc medications like aspirin or Tylenol.
Joe’s last 3 posts were dated October 28th, my birthday. One was an old joke that I’d heard before, many times. One was a request for a good tamale recipe, and the other was saying that he was going in for a complete MRI for figuring out why his back would not stop hurting. He spent the night at his sister’s home and she announced the next day that he had passed away from natural causes during the night, but she gave no details. I suspect a drug overdose, knowing the pain he was in and his propensity for drug abuse. He was quite depressed because of his brother having a deadly overdose two weeks earlier. Perhaps it was for the best. Rest in peace, Joe.
iggyvandweller 