My Personal Trainer

A lot of interesting people have passed through my life, and continue to do so. Sometimes it’s a one-time encounter and for others, our connection may last for years. I’m an amateur psychologist by nature, always trying to figure out what makes people the way they are, but not with much success.
‘Hannah’ was a personal trainer at a gym where I was a member. This was 12+ years ago. She was around 30, in really good shape, quite attractive, and always with a smile on her face. So, it wasn’t hard for her to convince me that I needed some personal training time with her. Lol But I really did need some help.
After my bicycle crash about 2004 that broke a few of my bones, I had become rather tentative in my exercising due to lingering physical problems. As a result, my weight started creeping up and I topped 200 pounds for the first time. The extra weight did not feel good and exacerbated my physical pains. I started eating a little less and working out more, getting down to 187 after 2-3 months. Then Hannah entered the picture.
I signed up for two one-hour sessions with her per week. She showed me the right exercises to do for my goals, the proper form for those exercises, and made a weekly meal plan for me to follow. Her sessions were not easy by any means but I enjoyed them. One time, she pushed me so hard that I started to puke and had to run to the locker room. She changed exercises often to challenge me and to keep boredom at bay. Over the next few months, my weight dropped to 170, but also added a lot of strength.
We became friends and talked about some personal things, during rest periods. I found  out that she was recently divorced, after a few years of marriage. Her ex and her had four daughters together and were trying to be civil for their sake. I actually saw him a couple times and he seemed a decent man. Hannah had been chubby in her school and college years, but he still found her attractive at the time. At her heaviest, she weighed about 240, but she was pregnant with twins at the time. She wanted to be in better condition and changed her college major to personal training and nutrition. Gradually she got into better shape and feeling better about herself. Her face had always been pretty and now the body matched the face. Personally, I think her ego is what broke up the marriage, because she knew she was hot and thrived on attention from men.
She was also religious, but only to a point. Many religious folk pick and choose which rules they want to follow, and she seemed the same. We often spoke about religious matters and she encouraged me to be more regular in my church attendence. She even said that she was praying for me.
I had read an article about personal gym trainers and it mentioned that clients tended to workout 17% harder when they had a trainer of the opposite sex. I relayed that to Hannah and she laughed hard about it. But she agreed and said she could understand why that would be true. We flirted occasionally, but she told me that it was against rules for trainers and clients to go on a date. Regardless, I don’t think she was actually interested in me that way.
One day, she told me the sad news that she was moving to Portland in order to go back to college, this time for learning how to do sports massages and injury rehabbing. So she was quitting her job and starting a new one up there. I was bummed and told her so. She gave me a goodbye hug, and told me to stay the course on my exercise and diet efforts. And I expected that I’d never see her or hear from her again.
However, about five years later I had just joined an internet social group called Facebook and soon got a friend request from her. I was surprised she even remembered me, let alone thought enough of me to friend me! She was dating a public prosecutor and soon married him, but he was quite abusive. I was going through my troubles with Rachel at the time. So we chatted some and commiserated with each other, on both Facebook and private Messenger. She eventually had an ugly divorce, after he beat her up badly, and she ended up with nothing but her daughters. He didn’t even get arrested because of his influence.
Hannah’s mom was also being a problem for her. The mom still lived in Montana, Hannah’s home state. She was schizophrenic and an alcoholic. Hannah tried to return and help her, after the divorce. But her mom became violent and abusive, and the police got called a few times. So, Hannah gave up and returned to Portland with her daughters. The mother died of an overdose of prescription meds soon after. Hannah told me that she has some hereditary issues of her own and really struggles with depression. She was taking Prozac and getting counseling regularly, but I don’t know if she still does. Hard to believe, when she always has a smile on her face!
She got a job at a Portland gym, doing personal training and massages, and soon started dating the owner. He was a short Pacific Islander with huge muscles. I suspect that they ended up living together, despite her religious convictions, because she posted many pictures of them. They stayed together for several years. They were regulars at Blazer games.
All of a sudden, she announced that she had flown to Vegas and got married to a black man. A week of lovey-dovey posts followed, with lots of pictures of them together, followed by a week of no posting. Then she announced it was all a big mistake and she was having the marriage annulled. I remember how she acted around black men in the Salem gym. She would get all excited and flirty around them, and even dated a tall 60 year old black man for awhile. She is a pretty, white woman; with golden colored hair, curves, but fit. So blacks like her, too.
For the last 6+ months, most of her posts have been about support for Black Lives Matter and all causes liberal. So we definitely would not have been a good match. I still think her heart is in the right place, but her genetic mental instability is apparently getting worse. When criminals are being glorified above police, just because of their skin color, logic has vanished. I suspect many women get crushes on black men, for the same reason they get pitbulls; they crave the danger factor. It’s exciting to them, recognizing something bad might happen to them. It’s also a rebellious thing; going against conventional society and anything that smacks of conservatism. It’s following feelings over reason, which is typical of most liberal positions.
Hannah is one of the interesting people in my life, despite the chaos in hers. We talk to each other less and less, probably because she is becoming more radical and she already knows my libertarian beliefs. Occasionally she does put a like on my posts, and rarely, a comment. I do hope the best for her, and some wisdom to balance her passion. She has purged her friends list several times in the last ten years and has still kept me. So, there must still be a soft spot for me. I’ll keep watching and hoping for her happiness.