Enough things have happened lately that I’m starting to doubt my own mental competency! I’m getting more absent-minded. I forget which campers I’ve already checked in. I forget who paid me for firewood. I repeat camp rules to the same people. I go back to my van frequently to check if the doors are locked.
A man stopped at the campground and said Hi. I asked if he had a question for me. He reminded me that he was Mike, a nearby cabin owner I’ve known for over a year and talked with dozens of times. But I didn’t recognize him, his pickup, or his 3 dogs right away. The memories came back slowly.
I often have to stop and think to remember when I ate last and what I had, especially since I’ve been doing intermittent fasting this summer. The days kinda blur together and it becomes hard to remember the day of the week. It’s not that I’m overly busy, though some days can get hectic.
I seem to get angry or depressed easily, too. Little things set me off, even though I don’t let my feelings show unless I’m alone. Some campers are either jerks or idiots, hard to tell which. They cause extra work and stress for me.
My mind frequently tends to dwell on people who have wronged me. It takes an effort to let it go and change my thoughts to positive ones. My desire is to be in an attitude of gratitude and contentment, to live in the present and anticipate future adventures, not regretting past decisions or ex-friends.
Garbage in, garbage out is frequently referenced, and I remind myself of that often. So I’ll read books that challenge me to think and meditate on what they say. It is important to continue learning and not stagnate. I also do Sudoku or crossword puzzles most days to exercise the mind. I’m not yet worried about early onset Alzheimer’s but it does bother me that I forget stuff so easily. I recently watched a documentary that followed Glen Campbell in his farewell tour, as he slid quickly into Alzheimer’s. It was eye-opening to watch him struggle to remember names, where the bathroom was, song lyrics, and thinking people were moving his stuff. I am no where near to his condition.
It is likely that my diet has much to do with my sluggish mind. I’ve fasted off and on this summer, and haven’t eaten much fresh fruits and veggies. My body feels out of balance and a little weak. I want to drop to #160 if possible and maintain there, rebuilding muscle this winter. Only 8 pounds to go. When the job is over and I’m back in Salem, fresh groceries in more variety will be readily available, unlike here on the mountain. Perhaps my mind will operate better at that time. I’m hoping!
iggyvandweller 