I woke up this morning to a farmer on his tractor yelling at me to get my van out of his cornfield. Jeez, did he have to wake me up so early! I flipped him off and tossed my pee-bottle out the window as I drove to the road. Heidi slept thru it all. That pot we had last night was some goood stuff. Of course, she smoked most of it per usual, that selfish skank!
I made it about an hour toward the city when I noticed the gas tank was almost empty. So, started watching for a gas station. Not that I had any money. But that’s never stopped me before. Soon, I saw something even better, a truck stop. More people, quite busy, chaotic. My kind of place. I pulled in next to the machine that airs up your tires for 25¢, got out, and let the air out of one of my tires. Then I woke up Heidi and told her we needed some money for gas and ciggies. She knew what to do and headed inside the store. I found a piece of cardboard and wrote “Stranded Bad tire need Gas God Bless”. I got over $30 in less than an hour from suckers that felt bad for me. Then Heidi returned with $40 and a new pack of Marlboros. I noticed her hair was wet and she smelt clean, and asked her what was up with that? She said a trucker paid her $50 to shower with him and even insisted on washing her hair. But swore nothing else happened. Yeah, whatever. I know her too well to believe that! I aired up the tire, got gas, and we headed down the road.
Tonight we camped at a Walmart. We used our food stamps to buy some junk food, but Heidi swiped a couple beers too. I don’t know how she always gets away with it. I’m too clumsy and usually get caught.
I tried to talk to a couple in an RV nearby but they didn’t want anything to do with us. I know the van is filthy and old but who cares!? Their fancy rig doesn’t make them better than us.
We sat out on five gallon buckets and toasted marshmallows and hot dogs over our gas stove, laughing at the idiot shoppers who goggled at us. At about 10, I grabbed my sax and played over at the store, to get a little more money for dope. Didn’t get much, a few bucks. Then the dude from the RV hustled over and said, “I’ll give you $20 to quit that noise! My wife and I want to get some sleep.” I was a little hurt cause I’m not that bad but took the scratch. Usually the Walmart security guards shut me down more rudely than that.
Heidi and I smoked and listened to some tunes, until that same dude came out of his motorhome and stared at us. Yeah, yeah, we can take a hint. It was almost midnight anyway. So we went inside the van, bumped uglies, and conked out.
Okay, this wasn’t really me. And I’ve never been with a girl named Heidi. Always wanted to, though. Lol I use this story as an example of what not to do, as a vandweller.
Nobody likes being judged because of how others in their group has acted. Black men are assumed to be criminals, Republicans are thought to be racists, church-goers are expected to be narrow-minded and gullible, people with hearing impairments thought of as dense, redheads are expected to be wild in bed, union workers are assumed to be lazy, and so forth. Some prejudices have little basis for belief, while others have a lot of truth behind them.
I’ve observed some real jerks that are also vandwellers. Leaving trash behind, being inconsiderate with noise or where they park, being aggressive with begging, having a vehicle that is an eyesore, doing criminal behavior, making no attempt to get along with neighbors. I’m ashamed to be classed with them. People say, Be the change that you want to see in others. That’s fine and dandy to say but there is another saying, One bad apple spoils the whole barrel. One vandweller who causes a scene or trashes a camp spot, can ruin things for those who come after. What’s the solution? Kill all bad vandwellers! Just kidding.
What I do is, always do the best I can to be invisible. Arrive late and leave early when stealth-camping in a city. Leave no trace, either in urban or rural settings. Be polite and nice to people that I encounter. If I observe a problem, contact police if it is bad enough. Otherwise either talk to the problem campers myself or leave, putting some distance between us. I’m thankful for the RTR and various social forums that educate vandwellers on how to improve the public’s perceptions of vandwellers. I hate having a label slapped on me by someone who doesn’t even know me. And I attempt not to do so to others.
iggyvandweller 